And It Occurs To Me...

Lately, it keeps occuring to me that soon, I won't be pregnant anymore - I'll be a new mom. I'll be in the middle of doing some activity or I'll be in a daze, just coming out of a nap before I realize, "Holy crap! I'm going to be a parent soon! I'm going to have a baby! I'm going to have this living, breathing amazing little person who is going to depend on me!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not nervous, I've had TONS of experience with kids... I used to babysit tons and I used to be a nanny. (Except now I won't be able to give this kid back after a couple hours or the end of the work day... that will be new.)

It just amazes me that soon it's all going to be over. A little more than ten weeks - if we are going by my EDD.

Who knows, she might come a little early like her cousins did... but that's up to her isn't it?

When I have these (constant) revelations, I wonder how I'm going to feel. Will I just be happy that she's out and I won't have the intense pain from my bad hip and these AWFUL knots between my shoulders anymore?

Will she cry so much that I wish she could be back in my tummy?

Or will I want her back in my tummy because I miss feeling her move around or I don;t like feeling 'empty'? I'm sure I'll be getting more excited about the prospect of seeing her and holding her and witnessing how she will change. And dressing her up in her cute clothes... because by now, this kid has more clothes than I have...

I guess time will tell how I'm going to feel in the days and weeks that follow little Victorias birth.

Until then, I'm going to appreciate the special bond that only I can have with her right now. My little girl. My little bundle of love. My little... monster who thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy...